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My definition of "LOVE"
Enough has been written about “love” over the years to fill numerous books, and to totally muddy the way this word is used. So much so that, these days, people either say it as a platitude, or they are afraid to say it because of the ramifications of “what it means”. I’d like to strip that out of the way, and give you what I think is the definition of that word that we all ought to use, as it gives it back it’s power.
Love is a physical sensation that comes about when the person you are in love with is present. And it need not be present physically. Thinking about that person can be enough for this sensation to exist.
It’s the sensation of tightness in your chest. The “rush” of adrenaline, the escalated heartbeat, it’s semi-euphoric. It’s a one sided selfish emotion, that usually can’t be sustained over time unless both people experience it. It’s the reason you WANT to form a relationship with the other person regardless of how hard that might be to accomplish due to life circumstances. It’s also the kind of emotion that causes wars to be fought or makes people walk into burning buildings, or do any number of other impossible feats .. due to the fear of losing that person.
It’s also the emotion that creates stalkers. Who have never experienced it before or those for whom the intensity is too much.. and don’t understand respecting others boundaries so that it becomes all about them instead of creating a closeness, it creates a barrier. For this category of people, love is a dangerous thing for the rest of society.
It’s an emotion that can be unpredictable and inconvenient. Falling in love with the “wrong” person for example can be painful if they don’t want to hear about it from you. It’s also an emotion that’s misunderstood when the word is used. I choose to use the word to describe ONLY the emotional state, and the physical reaction. I prefer “relationship” and adjectives around that word to describe the surroundings of interacting with someone you love… but, as I mentioned above, we as a society tend to muddle these things together a lot.
This next paragraph is the reason I wrote all of the prefacing stuff -
So, Once I was clear -for myself- on this definition, I made myself two promises around the use of the word love… The first is that I would NEVER say “I love you” if that emotion wasn’t present. The second is that I would ALWAYS say I love you to the other person when that emotion is present so long as the other person wasn’t made uncomfortable by that and knew exactly what I meant by the use of the word.
As such, it’s a very clear single focus word that has ENORMOUS power for me.
Incidentally, with this definition many conflicts become clear… for example, it’s possible to love more than one person, and it might even be expected that that might be a common thing to experience over the course of life for people in general.
I have noticed that I almost never end up with that feeling for people that I find physically unappealing. And, it tends to form – for me – with meaningful eye contact and somewhat of a hint from the other person that there will be some mutual desire for it to be there. But, it’s a blind emotion and it will form where it will and you can’t control it. (As a side thought, I’ve had women where there was a physical relationship for a while and “it” never happened, and I’ve had women where I met them, there was eye contact, and I turned to mush.) This randomness - That’s part of what gives it it’s power over us as humans. That’s also why – when it’s mutual – it’s such a special thing.
Oh, and it – in and of itself – is not enough to make a relationship grow and be strong – but that’s another set of thoughts altogether. But – it – in and of itself is a reason to TRY to see if a relationship will grow.
So, the next time you hear the dry words “I love you” come out of your mouth. Stop. Say something else., and the next time you feel that life altering crush of emotion, tell that person… I LOVE YOU!
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provided by John Schlick
- Dateilicious Owner
at 2007-06-21 00:16:02
viewed 608 times.
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( gre.linda3@yahoo.com )
My name is Linda,i saw your profile today and became interested in you,i will also like to know you the more,and if you dont mind i will like you to send an email to my email address so i can give you my picture for you to know whom i am.Here is my email address
( gre.linda3@yahoo.com ) believe we can move from here!I am waiting for your mail to my email address above.Linda.( Remember the distance or colour does not matter even our age difrent because i have something very important to tell you,but love matters alot in life) please contact me with this e-mail address ( gre.linda3/A/T/y/a/h/o/o/D/O/Tc/o/m) Take good care of yourself for me.
Best Regards
Linda.
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comment by linda
- i am looking for my life partner at 2009-06-15 11:04:11
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